I’ve a friend who’s a bit of a foodie, and let’s just say he’s got a bit of extra padding to show for it! I like to poke fun at him with some lighthearted fat puns and jokes, hoping he’ll get the hint to hit the gym and balance out his love for food.
But instead of getting defensive, he’s started firing back with his own fat jokes and puns! It’s become a fun game, and I’ve gathered some of our favorites to share with you. If you’ve got friends who could use a laugh (and maybe a little motivation), pass these along – who knows, they might just inspire them to make some healthy changes!
Funny Fat Puns
- I’m not fat—I’m flavor-enhanced.
- Thick thighs? More like thunder blessings.
- My jeans didn’t shrink, I expanded with character.
- Extra gravy? Extra happy.
- I’m not gaining weight—I’m collecting insulation for winter.
- I’m not fat—I’m just full of candy and confidence!
- Built for comfort, not for cardio.
- Life’s short. Eat the butter.
- I’m not soft—I’m marshmallow chic.
- Squishy is the new sexy.
- I’m not fat—I’m just built like a rock!
- I’m not heavy, I’m just gravitationally gifted.
- You say fat—I say full of love.
- Certified snack with an extra side.
- Chubby cheeks? Built-in smile boosters.
- I’m big-boned… in all the delicious places.
Fat Jokes and Puns
- Why did the chubby guy bring a ladder to the buffet?
To reach the next level of fullness. - How do you know someone’s a foodie?
They have abs… hiding under years of experience. - What did one fat cell say to the other?
We’re in this for the long haul. - How do you make a salad taste like pizza?
Add regret. - I tried to jog once. My thighs applauded… and begged me to stop.
- I told my scale it needed therapy—it was projecting again.
- Why did the cookie break up with the diet?
Too many restrictions. - What’s my cardio routine?
Rolling over to grab the remote. - That fart had some weight to it—must’ve been a little fat on flavor!
- I entered a weight-loss competition… and gained fans instead.
- My shadow has stretch marks.
- Why don’t I jog? My ice cream might melt.
- What’s my BMI? Blissfully Munching Indulgently.
- The only thing I run from is salad.
- Do I lift? Only my mood after dessert.
- I’m not fat, I’m just built for hockey power plays!
- I don’t need a six-pack—I’ve got a keg of joy.
- My Fitbit just gave up. It said, “You do you, boo.”
- I don’t gain weight—I level up.
- I’m not fat—I’m just in my baseball off-season bulk!
- My pants fit yesterday. Today, they’re auditioning as leggings.
- I’m not fat, I’m just full of orange juice and good vibes!
- My belly has WiFi—it always connects with the fridge.
- I ate a balanced meal: a burger in each hand.
- My diet plan is called “Mmm… that smells good.”
- I didn’t fail my diet—the cookies overpowered me.
Fat Puns & Fabulous Captions for Instagram
- Warning: Soft curves ahead.
- Zero apologies, 100% delicious.
- Built like a croissant—layered, flaky, and extra buttery.
- Body by nachos, confidence by vibes.
- Eat well, laugh louder, love bigger.
- I don’t chase calories—I chase joy.
- Own your softness. It’s your superpower.
- Not everyone can handle all this extra.
- Sippin’ on self-love and full-fat lattes.
- No filter—just fluff and fun.
- Thicc, tasty, and thriving.
- That ginger spice is so bold, it burned the fat off my taste buds!
- This body wasn’t built for running—it was built for ruling.
- Soft serve, hard confidence.
Everybody is a good body, and it deserves kindness, joy, and the freedom to giggle at itself once in a while. Use these in your group chats, birthday cards, gym motivation posters (ironically), or even on custom merch. Because life’s too short to count calories when you can count laughs.
